Shieldmaiden's Mirror

Hello once again, and welcome to another instalment of this blog featuring my TOB immersion course.
One part of what has really been unfolding for me in the last week and a bit has to do with femininity and my identity. This is truly a major thing for me, but first a bit of context....

The running joke in my family is that should have been born with a Y-chromosome. When it comes to movies, I pick Braveheart, or Die Hard over Titanic (*gag*) or The Notebook (why the hell would it be entertaining to watch something that just makes you cry?). I have never afraid to run around, scrape my knee, climb trees or let an outfit get in the way of having fun (at least until I started paying for them). I was big sister to only brothers until I was eight years old, and when we played various versions of 'knights and damsels', the damsel was certainly not me! We took turns being the knight or dragon. I picked martial arts and horse riding (not as girly as you think) over netball or touch football, my most recent one being historic western sword fighting. Once I got out of an all-girls high school, most of my friends are male (barring a few delightful exceptions, you know who you are!)

In short, I liked to think of myself as a tomboy, however I also like pretty dresses, sparkly jewels and butterflies. Not that I would ever necessarily lead with this kind of description of myself. Ever. These idiosyncrasies would be discovered by the foolhardy people who decided to get to know me better.

I have always struggled with my identity as feminine simply because I am not a 'pearls and pastels' kind of girl. I hate pastels (unless its blue). I am not softly-spoken, in fact I have two volumes, loud and louder and certainly not delicate in declaring my opinion when necessary. I have callouses on my hands and feet, I like dangerous, pointy things and explodey things and fire. I never really felt 'feminine' unless I was wearing a pretty dress and even then, it was a persona. Not really me.

I used to go to these talks on the 'feminine genius' and Catholic femininity and I would come away frustrated and disgruntled. Here were these pretty, gentle women in chiffon skirts and mary-jane pumps giving these talks with the same kind of holy card Mary in the slideshow. You know the ones. Well it did not sit well with me at all. I had no really appreciation for Mary or desire to relate to pearled, pastelled and perfect Mother of God.

So I looked to literature and movies for more realistic role models. I really resonated with Tamora Pierce's first heroine, Alanna of Trebond a girl who wants to be a knight and disguises herself as a boy to do so, and changes the course of history and saves the kingdom in the process.

I also loved Katerina in The Taming of the Shrew (still my favourite Shakespeare play) and I especially loved Julia Stile's interpretation in 10 Things I Hate About You. I wanted to be her when I grew up (from the perspective of a 14 year old).

Then I was introduced to Lord of the Rings via the movies and I found my alter ego, Èowyn.

This is Èowyn, daughter of Èomund and niece of King Thèoden of Rohan (if you have never seen/read the books, read this brief summary before carrying on). All the time I was on this TOB immersion, she kept coming to my mind and I realised, she was more than an alter ego, she was my mirror. We all encounter people or characters in our lives that become a life-long presence because of their uncanny identicalness. Their ability to be a reflection to us allows us to see things that we might not have seen otherwise.

There was one scene in particular that kept popping up when I was praying and reflecting. This critical scene...

People who give Tolkien crap for putting women on pedestals and making them useless clearly haven't read the book. Èowyn is no delicate muppet on a pedestal. She is raw and so very real, someone who is willing to risk life, limb, identity and sanity for the people she loves. She comes to the battle of the age not as herself, but as a man and she fights as well as any of her peers. It is not coincidence that the only woman on the battlefield finds herself in an epic contest against an incredible evil, an evil that no man can defeat.

In the book the story plays out slightly differently with Èowyn revealing her identity before the Witch King attacks.

"But no living man am I! You look upon a woman. Éowyn I am, Éomund’s daughter. You stand between me and my lord and kin. Begone, if you be not deathless! For living or dark undead, I will smite you, if you touch him."

Why was this constantly popping up in my mind? Instead of just dismissing it and trying to 'focus'. I sat with it and asked the question. It was day two of the course and Christopher was on the warpath against the 'domesticated', pretty and tame Mary on holy cards. We had asked for her intercession as the 'crusher of heresies' at the beginning of the morning session and then Christopher proceeded to open up the Theology of Mary's body as the very place in which the God took on human flesh. This was not a pretty little thing that most artists depict... there was fire! And desire and God entered time and space and matter because he so wildly loved humanity and Mary conceived because she so wildly loved God!

What the heck does Mary have to do with Èowyn? Christopher effectively rehabilitated Mary for me and in doing so femininity. Èowyn mirrored to me what femininity is, it is a force of life-giving love. Èowyn's love for her uncle drove her to protect him. It is no coincidence that it was only a woman who could defeat the Witch King. Only a woman's ability to conceive and bear life into the world could overcome the vacuous, deathly absence that is the evil of the Witch King.

Christopher's unfolding of the Theology of Mary's body drew on several stories in the New Testament, the Annunciation, the wedding of Cana, John's Crucifixion and Revelations 12. When Christopher started on Revelations 12 (go read it here... and while your at it, read the rest of it. It is an awesome book!) The parallels with Èowyn and the Witch King started falling into place. This scene is not an allegory of Revelations (if you want that go read C.S. Lewis' The Last Battle) an nor was it ever intended to be. 

However, there are some significant parallels... Èowyn is not pregnant but is a key player in the huge birth pangs of the Fourth Age of Middle Earth. Èowyn faces a monstrosity that knows only envy and death. Her victory over the Witch King ends a reign of terror and gives birth to a real chance of overcoming evil. Her battle with the Witch King leaves her wounded and in a wilderness, hovering between life and death.

For the first time, I saw Èowyn not just at war physically, but at war with herself, just like I was. Wrestling with my identity as a woman and my responsibilities and desires for my life and the course it would take as well as the world's expectations and ideas. I can only so humbly hope to show the kind of courage and integrity she had when it really mattered and embrace my femininity as a force of nature that it is. 

I was, thanks to Èowyn and this particular Mary, Our Lady of Guadalupe...

... able to put to bed the stupid idea that femininity and Catholic femininity was about pearls, pastels and Holy passivity. This is something new I learned about this image. In her hand is a Maraca and her knee is bent so she is standing on one foot in a traditional Aztec dance. The moon at her feet (referencing Revelations 12) also resembled these Aztec demons who would terrorise humanity in the dark of night. The dance she is performing is the sacred victory dance of Aztec warriors. She is literally doing a victory dance on the devil's ass. That's my kind of femininity.

*If you want to know more about Theology of the Body, I highly recommend that you check out Christopher's website. If you want something a little more meaty, he gave two excellent talks at WYD in Sydney 2008. Download the first one here and the second one here.*

The Mexican Adventure Continues...

So and adventure: We left at 8:30am to head to the ruins of tehoticuachan. We stopped on the way to be given a tour of a cooperative that makes traditional craft out of semi-precious stones, agave fibers and tequila, Mezecal and pulque. The tequila was the best I have ever had. Best stratergy for selling stuff, get the customers drunk!

 Fun Fact #4: The agave plant is an all in one plant! It takes 7 years to mature but once mature, the heart can be cut and paper can be pulled off the leaves in sheets, the tip can be cut off and pulled with fibers to make a needle and thread, the leaves are dried to make into cloth, and the sap from the blue agave makes the finest tequila.

We then headed over to the Ruins of Teoticuachan which is a city that pre-dates the Aztecs who discovered the ruins and believed that this was the city where huge gods created the world, hence City of the Gods, Teotichuan. The landscape is dominated by the two step pyramids, the temples of the moon and Sun. We got to climb both of them and the view was incredible. The steps where so steep that it was more comfortable to crawl. As much fun as it was, racing up the stairs, I couldn't forget the people that crawled to their deaths on these pyramids. Human sacrifice took place here. Children's remains were found near the temple dedicated to Tlaoc, the rain god. After the ruins we headed out to Guadalupe. I slept even through the 15 min maccas stop. I couldn't do it three days in a row. The shrine complex is huge, encompassing the Teppayac hill where the apparitions occurred and includes 8 churches. The oldest dating from the mid 16th century to the newest being th 1972 where the tilma is now kept. A legion of Mary priest joined us for a bit of a tour. I skipped that went to confession and had some time with my own thoughts. I started my first novena ever at the shrine! I will keep that going for the next nine days. The image is incredible. Intact I will devote a whole post to the symbolism in the image explained to us by Armando and Fr Ryan.

One of the things that struck me the most was the culture around Guadalupe. It was alive bustling with families! Parents brining their babies to present to our lady and light candles for them. little wizened grandmas teaching their grandchildren the story in the murals and places in the shrine. It's also an active parish and there is mass every hour. If there ever was a patron of life, it is her. Mexicans from all walks of life gathered in the shrine to celebrate family milestones and kids ran around laughing and playing in between the rituals and times of prayer. It was such a start contrast to the masses and rituals we have at home. They seem austere and burdensome. No wonder people leave the church in droves! This is not so here. Faith is clearly alive and working under the wings of our lady. 

Prayer of the Day:
Holy Mother, your love knows no bounds! I thank you for the gift of the your image which in my weakness and folly draws me closer to you and to your son. Holy mother, walk with me and intercede with your son on my behalf as l continue my faith journey and my life long pilgrimage. 
Amen.
Our lady of Guadalupe, mother of life and passion, pray for us.

Landing in Mexico!

Our bad luck with buses continues today. After being awake at 4:30 am for a 6 am start, I got dressed and went to maccas for brekky. The only basic difference between American maccas and Aussie maccas is the calories, everything is about double the calories and I swear you could wring out the grease from it! Never again...

Our bus didn't come on time, but once we were on it was a straight shot to the airport with the LA sunrise. We got through security surprisingly quickly and settled into wait for our flight at 8:30 am. Sam shared a bit of his story and I accidently let slip the 'T' word. We were all in the same area of the plane and I was pretty sure I wasn't going to sleep, but I ended up sleeping on and off the entire flight! I was amazed. One of the girls got motion sickness on the landing (which was a shocker) and had to get a jab for it. So we were late for mass at the Cathedral again! We got to our hotel which is amazing and right in the centre of the City! I thought we would be roughing it a least a bit! We had mass in the Chapel of the Holy Angels, a little alcove in the Cathedral which is just covered with gold.

Fun Fact #3: Mexico City is built directly over the Aztec capital Tenochtitlan in the middle of lake Texcoco. The cathedral was built from the ashes of the major temple in the city and it is currently sinking.

We became good friends with the masters of ceremonies Fr Francesco and he showed us where to buy the best (and best value) jewelry. I went a bit nuts! At this point is 7 in th evening and we were all starving. Most of us missed lunch, I slept through the plane lunch which you had to buy anyway. We had dinner at 8 and it was really really good! Even though I would have eaten just about anything at that point. I am exhausted now and I will sleep like a baby tonight!

Prayer of the Day:
Lord, I pray for hope. So many live without this life-giving virtue, so many fall into despair because of the poverty, violence and injustice in our world. Lord, you know all things, give us the strength to be moved not to despair but to action in love of our neighbour.
Amen.
Blessed Virgin, who bore hope incarnate, pray for us.