So its about time I wrote a bit more about what happened over the last couple of weeks. I had an awesome time in Steubenville, unwinding, watching TV, hanging out with mates. Oh how I missed the company of menfolk! I literally spent two weeks with women. Which was wonderful but I have never been that long without the company of boys in my life.
All that aside, I spent a lot of time in prayer. No? You don't say? Yeah, yeah I know... stating the obvious right? On Wednesday I was having a bit of a hard time. I was frustrated and anxious with this whole thing. I just wanted a damn answer! Is that too much to ask? So anyway... around rolled 5pm and it was time for Holy Hour so I went and I threw it (none too gently) at Jesus.
Well I can't really explain what happened... but it hit me. I was such an idiot. The answer was sitting right in front of me on the altar, Jesus. He was it. It didn't matter what I did or who I became. He was the answer, I keep him right there in front of me and nothing else matters. I almost started laughing. The clarity was such a relief, such a weight lifted from my soul. It didn't matter what was ahead, I knew who would be at the centre of it, no matter how good or bad the future might be.
I was safe in his care. He had me by the hand and was taking me on this adventure. Whenever I tripped, it was because I wasn't watching him, I was looking back or somewhere else. But he'd still pick me up and carry on...
So I did have some clarity by the end of the week. When discerning a vocation, there are two questions, question a) do you have a religious vocation? and b) to which community do you belong? The whole time I was with the Mercies. I fell in love with the way they do things, their Charism and their mission. So question b) has an answer, but not question a). I left the Mercies with a sense an image of Jesus sitting there, smirking and saying "Wait for it.... wait for it...."I gave Jesus 6 months, and he's going to use every minute of it. The next adventure is with the Sisters of Life next week. Hopefully he won't keep me in suspense much longer!
All that aside, I spent a lot of time in prayer. No? You don't say? Yeah, yeah I know... stating the obvious right? On Wednesday I was having a bit of a hard time. I was frustrated and anxious with this whole thing. I just wanted a damn answer! Is that too much to ask? So anyway... around rolled 5pm and it was time for Holy Hour so I went and I threw it (none too gently) at Jesus.
Well I can't really explain what happened... but it hit me. I was such an idiot. The answer was sitting right in front of me on the altar, Jesus. He was it. It didn't matter what I did or who I became. He was the answer, I keep him right there in front of me and nothing else matters. I almost started laughing. The clarity was such a relief, such a weight lifted from my soul. It didn't matter what was ahead, I knew who would be at the centre of it, no matter how good or bad the future might be.
I was safe in his care. He had me by the hand and was taking me on this adventure. Whenever I tripped, it was because I wasn't watching him, I was looking back or somewhere else. But he'd still pick me up and carry on...
So I did have some clarity by the end of the week. When discerning a vocation, there are two questions, question a) do you have a religious vocation? and b) to which community do you belong? The whole time I was with the Mercies. I fell in love with the way they do things, their Charism and their mission. So question b) has an answer, but not question a). I left the Mercies with a sense an image of Jesus sitting there, smirking and saying "Wait for it.... wait for it...."I gave Jesus 6 months, and he's going to use every minute of it. The next adventure is with the Sisters of Life next week. Hopefully he won't keep me in suspense much longer!
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